I Ate a Guy: A Collection of Twilight Parody Songs
by VeggieVamp
Summary: A massive collection of Twilight Parody songs as sung to the tune of modern hit songs. REQUESTS ACCEPTED!
1. I Ate a Guy

**I Ate a Guy: A Collection of Twilight Parody Songs**

**(Author's Note: Don't cry! All the Twilight songs are still here. I had to delete all your wonderful reviews however. I made a new year's resolution to be more organized. So all my songs will be put here and my future songs will be put here too so remember to put this on your alerts! This following song is sung to the tune of I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry)**

**I Ate a Guy**

This was never the way I planned  
Not my intention  
I got so thirsty, aand  
Lost my discretion  
It's not what, I'm used to  
Wanna try some human blood  
I'm curious for you  
Your scent caught my attention

I ate a guy and I liked it  
The taste of his AB negative  
I ate a guy just to try it  
I hope Carlisle doesn't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Now I'm not thirsty tonight  
I ate a guy and I liked it  
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name  
It doesn't matter,  
You are my first human game  
Just vampire nature,  
It's not what,  
Veggie vamps do  
Not how they should behave  
Your scent got me so confused  
Hard to not obey

I ate a guy and I liked it  
The taste of his AB negative  
I ate a guy just to try it  
I hope Carlisle doesn't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Now I'm not thirsty tonight  
I ate a guy and I liked it  
I liked it

Us vamps we are so magical  
pale skin, red lips, so beautiful

Hard to resist so vamptastical  
Too good to deny it  
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I ate a guy and I liked it  
The taste of his AB negative  
I ate a guy just to try it  
I hope Carlisle doesn't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Now I'm not thirsty tonight  
I ate a guy and I liked it  
I liked it


	2. Twilight Characters Are Freaks

**Twilight Characters Are Freaks**

**(A/N: Sung to the tune of Monsoon by Tokio Hotel. No offense is meant in this song and it's for parody and humor only. I love Twilight more than any of you, so I don't mean to say I think they're ACTUALLY freaks. Don't hate. I don't hate you, I love you. Love me. Love my stories.) **

Twilight has a lot of freaks  
No one is 'normal', so to speak.  
it's not just vamps  
there are werewolves too.

I must admit that some are dorks  
Jacob Black enjoys raw pork  
And Edward's parents died from the flu!

Edward watches girls sleep  
Bella jumped off a cliff  
Mike is delusional  
Eric Yorkie's a geek  
Jasper's emo  
Rosalie's vain,  
And we all think Alice is slightly insane.

And why do they like to live in rain?

It's like a zoo  
The Twilight crew.

Seth is cool but immature  
For annoying-ness, there is no cure.  
Jessica's the bitch that hogs the phone  
Jane likes torturing other vamps,  
Jacob sleeps in people's tents,  
Even immortal, Bella can break a bone

Jacob snores in his sleep,  
something vampires can't do  
I think he has fleas  
And don't use shampoo  
Emmett's lame jokes  
Egotistic Rose,  
Why does Alice have a billion clothes?  
They're hard to live with, I suppose  
Instead of sparkling, Renesmee glows  
Twilight characters are freaks!


	3. Behind These Golden Eyes

Behind These Golden Eyes

(Author's note: This is sung to the tune of Behind these Hazel Eyes – Kelly Clarkson. It is talking about how the members of the Cullen family did not really like being what they are and wishing to be human.)

(Verse 1)

Seems like just yesterday, I was a human being  
I used to be so slow, I used to be so weak  
Now I'm strong and fast that's true, everything in perfect view  
Unbreakable, but I am still a freak  
I don't have to breathe, no I can't sleep

The life I once lived is gone  
(Chorus)

Here I am, once again  
My life never ceases, can't deny it, can't pretend  
My family are my only friends  
Broken up, deep inside  
I cannot even grow old, die or cry  
Behind these golden eyes  
(Verse 2)

I never wanted this, I was not awake to insist  
I would never feel alright, for all of my life  
Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be  
Coming out in rain, and when it's sunny, I would hide.  
Cause I don't have to breathe, no I can't sleep  
The life I once lived is gone  
(Chorus)

Here I am, once again  
My life never ceases, can't deny it, can't pretend  
My family are my only friends  
Broken up, deep inside  
I cannot even grow old, die or cry  
Behind these golden eyes  
(Bridge)

You bite me and I burst into flame

Nothing will ever be the same  
I'm repulsed at what I became  
No, I don't like what I am like anymore  
Anymore  
(Chorus)

Here I am, once again  
My life never ceases, can't deny it, can't pretend  
My family are my only friends  
Broken up, deep inside  
I cannot even grow old, die or cry  
Behind these golden eyes  
Here I am, once again  
My life never ceases, can't deny it, can't pretend  
My family are my only friends  
Broken up, deep inside  
I cannot even grow old, die or cry  
Behind these golden eyes


	4. Drive My Car

Drive My Car

Singer: Edward Cullen

(Author's note: Sung to the tune of Drive My Soul – Lights. Don't own them but I own these lyrics. Yes, Edward loves his Volvo. Enjoy!)

Seems the paint is scratched again  
Now it needs to be replaced

It needs to be polished and then brought in  
It needs that elegance and grace  
The windows are always crystal clear  
It's so great to speed and steer  
I could do this as my career  
In my Volvo, I have no fear.

When I drive  
I can go near or far  
Driving underneath the stars  
We can never be apart  
No, you can't drive my car

Seems the camera is on again  
I can't be caught for speeding  
I'll go to Carlisle  
I'll make amends  
He'll be in his office, reading  
Bright headlights in the front and the rear  
I feel bright when they are near  
I see where I'm driving when I steer  
My way becomes so clear

When I drive  
I can go near or far  
Driving underneath the stars  
We can never be apart  
No, you can't drive my car

When I drive  
I can go near or far  
Driving underneath the stars  
We can never be apart  
No, you can't drive my car  
Drive my car

When I drive  
I can go near or far  
Driving underneath the stars  
We can never be apart  
When you're gone  
Will I lose control?  
You're the only road I know  
You show me where to go  
Who will drive my soul?


	5. Drink It

Drink it

(To the tune of Shake it – Metro Station)

(Author's note: I don't own Metro Station and if this song sucks, it's because we had three hours of sleep last night. I know we skipped the bridge but it was really for the best because it kind of ruined the song.)

I'll take you hunting for a bear if you don't hurt me(please don't hurt me)  
Your body's cold, but the blood's making us so warm  
And I was thinking of ways that I could kill the bear(kill the bear)  
Tonight you're hunting a bear (let me go now)  
I feel like tearing him up (here we go now)

Now if he fights like this will you fight him like that  
if he runs like this, will you chase him like that  
if he moves like this, will you kill him like that (come on)

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Your lips are set and your eyes are in a straight stare (straight stare)  
We're in the forest and your prey is laying right there  
And I was thinking of places that I could hide (I could hide)  
Tonight you're hunting for bear (let me go now)  
I feel like tearing him up (here we go now)

Now if he fights like this will you fight him like that  
Now if he runs like this, will you chase him like that  
Now if he moves like this, will you kill him like that (come on)

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Now if he fights like this will you fight him like that  
Now if he runs like this, will you chase him like that  
Now if he moves like this, will you kill him like that (come on)

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.

Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.  
Drink, drink, drink drink uh, drink it.


	6. Bleeding Blood

Bleeding Blood

(Author's note: Sung to the tune of Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis. I don't own her songs but I own these lyrics and I own Twilight. Riiight, of course I don't own Twilight.)

Closed off from human blood  
I didn't need the pain  
One month or two was enough  
And it was all in vain  
Time barely passes  
Before you know it you're thirsty

Ooooh...

And nothing happened  
For the previous day or two  
My throat's burning non stop  
I must get some food  
And Carlisle's getting worried  
Thinking I'm going crazy

Chorus:  
But I don't care what they say  
I must hunt right now  
They try to pull me away  
They don't know why or how  
My throat's burning all the time  
I try to ignore it  
I cut them open and they

Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
they keep bleeding  
they keep, keep bleeding blood  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
I'm getting full now

Oooh, oooh...

Trying hard not to breathe  
But their scent's so sweet  
My fangs start to teethe  
I think that I might cheat  
And I know that their goal  
Is to keep me from losing

Hey, yeah!

But nothing's greater  
Than the flow of fresh human blood  
And in this nightmare I live  
It's not enough  
And my family is now all  
Thinking I'm going crazy  
Maybe, maybe

Chorus:  
But I don't care what they say  
I must hunt right now  
They try to pull me away  
They don't know why or how  
My throat's burning all the time  
I try to ignore it  
I cut them open and they

Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
they keep bleeding  
they keep, keep bleeding blood  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
I'm getting full now

And I'm draining every drop  
I'm finding it hard to stop  
My eyes will be red  
Carlisle's going to pop

But I don't care what they say  
I must hunt right now  
They try to pull me away  
They don't know why or how  
My throat's burning all the time  
I try to ignore it  
I cut them open and they

Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
they keep bleeding  
they keep, keep bleeding blood  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
I'm getting full now

Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
they keep bleeding  
they keep, keep bleeding blood  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding blood  
I'm getting full now


	7. I Got Fangs

**I got Fangs**

**(Author's note: I don't own Miley Cyrus or her songs. But I own these lyrics. Sung to the tune of I Got Nerve - Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus)**

I'm craving blood  
And that's okay  
'Cause you will be hunting with me one day  
Don't want to hunt

Alone.

The bears are delicious, believe me

Don't lose, the prize  
'Cause it's a chance worth takin'  
And I think that I can hunt that

[Chorus:]  
I know where I ran  
I know who I am  
I would never run away when the bear gets mad

it's  
Everything I see  
Every part of me  
whenever I crash, it makes a bang.  
I got fangs (I got I got I got)

Electrified, I'm on a wire  
Being a vampire, we'll never tire  
What I said, you heard  
Now I got you hunting

Don't lose, the prize  
'Cause it's a chance worth takin  
And I think that I can show you

[Chorus:]  
I know where I ran  
I know who I am  
I would never run away when the bear gets mad

it's  
Everything I see  
Every part of me  
whenever I crash, it makes a bang.  
I got fangs (I got I got I got)


	8. So What, I am a Vampire

So what

(Author's note: As sung to the tune of Pink – so what. I don't own that but I do own these lyrics. It's talking about Bella and Jacob. And Bella's singing it. I don't think that she'll really react this way, but if I were her, then I probably would.)

Na na na na na na  
Na na na na na  
Na na na na na na  
Na na na na na

I guess I just lost my best friend  
I don't know where he went  
So I'm gonna drink some blood and  
I'm not gonna call him again (nope)  
I've got a brand new sports car  
And I'm gonna drive it tonight  
I can't believe Edward bought it  
We're going to start a fight

Na na na na na  
We're gonna start a fight  
Na na na na na  
We're all going to get in a fight

[Chorus]  
So,  
So what I'm still a vampire

I got my fast moves  
And I don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm hunting werewolves  
And when they're all gone  
I'm gonna hunt you tonight  
I'm alright  
I'm just fine  
And you smell bad so  
So what  
I am a vampire  
I got my fast moves  
And I don't want you tonight

Unh Check my flow (of blood)

I accidentally ate the waiter  
and then I ate Jessica Simps  
(Shit! )  
I guess I'll go home to Carlisle  
I know that he'll have a fit  
(Oops)  
What if they show it on the news

Then somebodys gonna die! haha  
I'm going to get in trouble,  
Carlisle will start a fight

Na na na na  
He's gonna to start a fight  
Na na na na  
We're all gonna  
To get into a fight

[Chorus]  
So,  
So what I'm still a vampire

I got my fast moves  
And I don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm hunting werewolves  
And when they're all gone  
I'm gonna hunt you tonight  
I'm alright  
I'm just fine  
And you smell bad so  
So what  
I am a vampire  
I got my fast moves  
And I don't want you tonight

You don't wash your hair  
You never do  
You want it all and I want shampoo  
I gave you soap  
I gave you a chance  
You don't wash your hair, you make me spew

[Chorus]  
So,  
So what I'm still a vampire

I got my fast moves  
And I don't need you  
And guess what  
I'm hunting werewolves  
And when they're all gone  
I'm gonna hunt you tonight  
I'm alright  
I'm just fine  
And you smell bad so  
So what  
I am a vampire  
I got my fast moves  
And I don't want you tonight

No no  
No no, I don't want you tonight  
You weren't there  
I'm gonna hunt you tonight  
I'm alright  
I'm just fine  
And you smell bad so  
So what  
I am a vampire

I got my fast moves  
And I don't want you tonight

Ba da da da pffftt


	9. Edwardlicious

Edwardlicious

(Author's note: Sung to the tune of Fergalicious – Fergie. This song describes Edward so well! Though I will have to thank Anousone for inspiring me because she was singing 'Anne-licious'. I don't own Twilight or Fergie.)

Four, tres, two, uno

Listen up y'all, cause this is it  
The Vamp I'm introducing is delicious

Edwardlicious definition make them girls go loco  
They want his treasure so they get their pleasures from his photo  
You can see him, you can't squeeze him  
he ain't easy, he ain't sleazy  
he's got reasons why he eats 'em  
Even though it's not hunting season

Edwardlicious (so delicious)  
But he ain't promiscuous  
And if you were suspicious  
All that shit is fictitious  
He is vicious (so delicious)  
That puts them girls on rock rock  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what he's got  
(Four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (It's hot hot)  
So delicious (He put them girls on rock rock)  
So delicious (They want a bit of what he's got)  
He's Edwardlicious (t-t-t-t-t tastey, tastey)

Edwardlicious def-, Edwardlicious def-, Edwardlicious def-  
Edwardlicious definition make them girls go crazy  
They always claim they know him  
Coming to him call him Cullen (Hey Cullen)  
He's the M to the A, S, E and the N  
And can't no other vampire put it down like him

He's Edwardlicious (So delicious)

His body stay vicious  
With his vampire senses, watch out, he's venomous  
There's no witness (Oooh whee)  
He put yo' girl on rock rock  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what he's got  
(Four, tres, two, uno)

Edwardlicious (It's hot hot)  
Edwardlicious (He put them girls on rock rock)  
Edwardlicious So delicious (They want a bit of what he's got)  
He's Edwardlicious (Hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby  
If you really want him  
Honey get some patience  
Maybe it is just a whim  
He's so tasty, tasty, Now don't be hasty, hasty  
He's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy

T to the A to the S T E Y Edward you tastey  
T to the A to the S T E Y Edward you tastey

D to the E to the L I C I O U S  
To the D to the E to- to- to- hit it Edward

Every time I turn around girls gather round  
Always looking at me up and down, looking at my (teeth!)  
I just wanna say it now I ain't trying to round up drama  
I don't like llamas, and vampires don't tan  
And I know I'm coming off just a bit over-protective  
But that might be flawed, it's just your persepective  
But I'm trying to tell, you that werewolves, do smell

And they say he's delicious (So delicious)  
But he ain't promiscuous  
And if you was suspicious  
All that shit is fictitious  
He is vicious (rawr)  
That puts them girls on rock rock  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what he's got  
(Got, got, got)

Four, tres, two, uno  
His body stay vicious  
With his vampire senses, watch out, he's venomous  
There's no witness (Oooh whee)  
He put yo' girl on rock rock  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what he's got  
(Four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (Aye, aye, aye, aye)  
It's Edwardlicious (Aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (Aye, aye, aye, aye)  
He's Edwardlicious (t-t-t-t-t tastey, tastey)

So delicious (Aye, aye, aye, aye)  
It's Edwardlicious (Aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (Aye, aye, aye, aye)  
He's Edwardlicious (t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t Aye, aye, aye, aye)

T to the A, to the S T E Y Edward you tastey  
T to the A, to the S T E Y Edward you tastey  
T to the A, to the S T E Y Edward you tastey  
T to the A, to- to- to- to- to- (Four, tres, two, uno)  
D to the E to the L I C I O U S  
To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S  
To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S  
To the D to the E to- to- to- to- (Four, tres, two, uno)

T to the A, to the S T E Y Edward you tastey  
T to the A, to the S T E Y Edward you tastey  
T to the A, to the S T E Y Edward you tastey  
T to the A, to- to- to- to-(Four, tres, two, uno)  
D to the E to the L I C I O U S  
To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S  
To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S  
To the D to the E to- to- to- to- to- to...


	10. Vampires

Vampires

(Author's note: Wow, this was almost as easy to write as I Ate a Guy. Sung to the tune of Teenagers – My Chemical Romance. I don't own them or their songs but I own these awesome lyrics)

They're gonna drink all your blood

Bite you till there is a flood  
To make a morning snack out of you  
Because they don't blink or sleep  
And they can silently creep  
So they can eat you and drink you, that's true

Because their eyes are blood red  
And they smile as you bled  
They've got the beauty  
to keep you still  
They're gonna rip off your heads  
Your neck and body to shreds  
Quickly so all your blood could spill

I said all vampires scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed  
So hide in your homes  
Or move to Volterra, Rome  
Maybe they'll leave us alone  
Or just flee.

The vampires are fast as they hunt  
They don't pant, breathe or grunt  
You're never gonna out run them, kid  
But if you've stumbled and hurt  
Well then, too bad for you, squirt  
They will eat you like the others they did.

I said all vampires scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed  
So hide in your homes  
Or move to Volterra, Rome  
Maybe they'll leave us alone  
Or just flee.

Whoa yeah!

I said all vampires scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed  
So hide in your homes  
Or move to Volterra, Rome  
Maybe they'll leave us alone  
Or just flee.

All together now,

I said all vampires scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed  
So hide in your homes  
Or move to Volterra, Rome  
Maybe they'll leave us alone  
Or just flee.

I said all vampires scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed  
So hide in your homes  
Or move to Volterra, Rome  
Maybe they'll leave us alone  
Or just flee.


	11. Oops I Did it Again, I Drank Human Blood

Oops, I did it again. I drank Human Blood.

(Author's note: Kind of obvious, but its sung to Oops I did it again – Britney Spears. I got a real kick out of writing these. I don't own Britney or her songs.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (2 x's)

I think I did it again  
I drank that girl's blood, and she met her end

Oh, baby  
It might seem like enough  
But really its not, not really that much

'Cause to lose all my control  
That is just so typically me  
Oh, baby, baby

Oops!... I did it again  
I drank human blood, got lost in the hunt  
Oh, baby, baby  
Oops!... You think I'm controlled  
That I still have a soul  
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem with prey  
I can't stop myself  
Drinking till all their blood is drained away  
I lie, not going astray  
My red eyes show the lives I have slain

But to lose all my control  
That is just so typically me  
Baby, oh

Oops!... I did it again  
I drank human blood, got lost in the hunt  
Oh, baby, baby  
Oops!... You think I'm controlled  
That I still have a soul  
I'm not that innocent

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (2 x's)

Oops!... I did it again  
I drank human blood, got lost in the hunt  
Oh, baby, baby  
Oops!... You think I'm controlled  
That I still have a soul  
I'm not that innocent


	12. Jacob Takes a Bath

Jacob Cleans Up

Sung by: Jacob Black

(Author's note: YES! I love this one the best! It is sung to the tune of 'someone's watching over me' – Hilary Duff. I don't own the song but I own these lyrics. And I also own shampoo.)

[Verse 1]

I found shampoo today.

Oh, I found shampoo and ran away.

But Bella held me back.

She said I stink and smell and that is that.

All I know is

If I want a chance,

With Bella at that dance.

Then I'll need conditioner and lotion too

[Chorus]

So I'll take a bath,

And a shower too.

Hey Jared, pass me the two in one shampoo.

And I'll try to dress up

In a tie and a tux

'Cause there is nothing that I wouldn't do

To get Bella from you

[Verse 2]

Found the perfect clothes.

And I didn't need Seth's help at all.

Its really fancy too (in white and in black)

Yes, I got it at half off, that's true.

And all I know is

If I clean up good.

Then I'll be understood

And Bella will pick me. (Yeah right)

[Chorus]

So I'll take a bath,

And a shower too.

Hey Jared, pass me the two in one shampoo.

And I'll try to dress up

In a tie and a tux

'Cause there is nothing that I wouldn't do

To get Bella from you

[Bridge]

And it doesn't matter what 'Samuel' thinks

It doesn't matter if I don't stink

Gotta believe in myself and be ni-iiice.

It only matters how clean you are

I know I can't stand

To beeee more apart

[Chorus]

So I'll take a bath,

And a shower too.

Hey Jared, pass me the two in one shampoo.

And I'll try to dress up

In a tie and a tux

'Cause there is nothing that I wouldn't do

To get Bella from you


	13. The Werewolf Song

The Werewolf Song

(Author's note: Sung to the tune of the llama song. I don't own the llama song, and I don't even know who made up the llama song. If you don't know it, go to this link: .com/flash/llama)

Here's a werewolf

There's a werewolf

And another little werewolf

Fuzzy werewolf,

Funny werewolf,

Werewolf, werewolf,

Dog.

Werewolf, werewolf

Embry

Werewolf

Quil

Samuel

Seth

Werewolf

Werewolf, werewolf

Jared

Werewolf

Werewolf, werewolf

Dog.

I was once a human

I lived in a house

But I never saw the way the big wolf killed the mouse.

I had only changed last year

But it told a tale.

And now listen, little werewolf,

To the safety rail

Did you ever see a werewolf

Kiss a werewolf

On the werewolf

Werewolf's werewolf

Smells like werewolf

Werewolf, werewolf,

Dog.

Is this how it's told now?

Is it all so old?

Is it made of Vamp venom?

Hard, scary and cold.

Now my song is wearing thin

I've run out of dialogue!

Time for me to phase back

And become a dog.


	14. Just Hunt

Just Hunt

(Author's note: Sung to the tune of – Just Dance – Lady Gaga. Don't own that song but I own these lyrics. Enjoy and review! I skipped a bit because it was too hard, sorry!)

(Verse 1)

I've had a little bit too much (bit too much blood)  
The animals all start to rush (Start to rush, babe)  
How does he hunt like that?  
Silent and quick, like a cat?  
I am too slow, I lost my prey.  
What's go-ing out in the woods?  
I love this lion baby, but I think I've had too much 'goods'  
Hunt him fast, where is Jacob Black?  
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.

(Chorus)  
Just hunt. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just hunt. Bag that grizzly, babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just Hunt Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Hunt, hunt hunt. Ju-just hunt

(verse 2)

Wish I could drink some human blood  
This deer stuff taste like mud (Taste like mud, babe)  
Control your venom babe  
Roses with thorns they say.  
And we're all gettin' full tonight.  
What's go-ing out in the woods?  
I love this lion, baby, but I think I've had too much 'goods'  
Hunt him fast, where is Jacob Black?  
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.

(Chorus)

Just hunt. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just hunt. Bag that grizzly, babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just Hunt Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Hunt, hunt hunt. Ju-just hunt

(Bridge)

Go. Use your muscle coming out work and hustle  
I got it, just stay close enough to get it  
Oh Whoa. Hunt it fast, before it gets away and makes a tussle, without a rustle.

(Chorus)

Just hunt. Gunna be okay.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just hunt. Bag that grizzly, babe.  
Da-doo-doo-doo  
Just Hunt Gunna be okay.  
Duh-duh-duh-duh  
Hunt, hunt hunt. Ju-just hunt


	15. Twilight Love Story

**Twilight Love Story**

**(Author's note: This is the celebratory piece, congratulating me on getting Microsoft Word back! Yay! Sung to the tune of Love Story – Taylor Swift. I thought it was the perfect song for Bella and Edward. Enjoy! For people who are so critical, I'm saying the first time they 'met' is when Edward first talked to Bella, not the first sight. The first time they conversed is what I consider to be 'saw' There wasn't much to change because it was practically meant for them.)**

We were both young when I first saw you  
I closed my eyes and the flashback starts  
I'm sitting there  
In the classroom in the humid air

See the lights, see the students, My notebook  
I hear you pull back your chair and take a seat  
And say hello  
Little did I know

That you were Edward, you climbed in through my window  
And my daddy said, "stay away from Bella"

And I was crying in the woods,  
Begging you, please don't go  
And I said

Edward, take me somewhere we can be alone  
I'll be waiting, all that's left is your bite  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story  
Baby, just say yes

So, I fly off to Italy to save you  
We would tell lies cause we're dead if they knew  
So don't fight back  
Escape Volterra for a little while

Oh oh

Cause you were a vampire, and I was mortal  
And the Volturi said, "We're going to kill Bella"  
But you were my everything to me  
I was begging you, please don't go  
And I said

Edward, take me somewhere we can be alone  
I'll be waiting, all that's left is your bite.  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story  
Baby, just say yes

Edward, save me  
They try to tell me how I feel  
This love is difficult, but it's real  
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess  
It's a love story  
Baby, just say yes

Oh oh

I got tired of waiting  
Wondering if you were ever coming around  
My faith in you is fading  
I think you were going to back down  
And I said

Edward, bite me  
I've been feeling so alone  
I keep waiting to be changed, but you never agree  
Is this in my head  
I don't know what to think  
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring  
And said

Marry me, Bella, you'll never have to be alone  
I love you and that's all I really know  
We'll talked to your dad  
Alice will pick out a white dress  
It's a love story  
Baby, just say yes

Oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh

'Cause we were both young when I first saw you


	16. Werewolves Don't Lie

Werewolves Don't Lie

Sung by: Seth Clearwater

(Author's note: The chorus needs a little tweeking. If you sing it right, it works. It took me a couple of tries to get right though. Sung to the tune of Big Girls Don't Cry – Fergie. I don't own her or her songs but I own these lyrics. Enjoy and review!)

[Verse 1]

Da da da dum…

The smell of cookies linger, on me now.

Jake's probably halfway back to La Push right now.

I need some shelter,

Or a really good place to hide.

Because I just ate Jacob's cookies,

And I can't lie.

[Chorus]

I hope he knows, I hope he knows.

I didn't do it on purpose.

It was a joke or a reflex.

Just another weird fact about me.

And Sam, please forgive me, because I'll try, my hardest to the best of my extent possible.

It's so hard when your thoughts combine.

And Werewolves don't lie.

Don't lie

Don't lie…

[Verse 2]

In Leah's favorite shirt, I just ripped a hole.

And I just smashed Paul's favorite cereal bowl (cereal bowl)

I need to run now, or I'll be dead tomorrow.

I guess I need to apologize, before I go.

[Chorus]

I hope he knows, I hope he knows.

I didn't do it on purpose.

It was a joke or a reflex.

Just another weird fact about me.

And Sam, please forgive me, because I'll try, my hardest to the best of my extent possible.

It's so hard when your thoughts combine.

And Werewolves don't lie.

[Bridge]

Maybe in five years, we'll look back and laugh.

You'll say, Seth, buddy, we were wrong.

We'll go partaying with the, vampires. (no fires)

Yes, we can run together to the city.

And everyone'll look up to me.

We'll be best friends and buddies and share our, memories.

But now is different.

The others are still really at me.

I need to run before they find me.

And I, need to apologize.

[Chorus]

I hope he knows, I hope he knows.

I didn't do it on purpose.

It was a joke or a reflex.

Just another weird fact about me.

And Sam, please forgive me, because I'll try, my hardest to the best of my extent possible.

It's so hard when your thoughts combine.

And Werewolves don't lie.


	17. Don't Touch My Porsche Anymore

Don't Touch My Porsche Anymore

(Author's note: Sung to the tune of Don't call me baby – Kreesha Turner. I found it to be so fun writing about the Cullen Cars after I wrote 'Drive My Car' which Edward sings. I wrote this song based on Alice's Porsche. It seems as if the car protectiveness runs in the family.)

Stop begging don't you see the look in my eyes  
Stop asking, I am getting sick of your cries  
Stop trying to sneak around in the garage  
You don't get a ride, you know you can just walk

Don't touch my Porsche  
Don't touch my Porsche  
Anymore

You all know that you can run as fast as I drive  
You have got your own car if you do want a ride  
Stop making up all those lame excuses  
If you weren't a vampire, I would have given you bruises

And don't touch my Porsche  
Don't touch my Porsche  
Anymore

Hey, hey, hey, driving away now, driving away now, quickly

Very quickly  
Hey, hey, hey, driving away now, driving away now quickly  
Very quickly

You know that I can see you  
You know that I can hurt you

Don't touch my Porsche  
Anymore

What you gonna do this time  
What you gonna do  
Does this even rhyme?  
What's your excuse  
When you gonna break my car  
When you gonna break  
Nobody drives like you

Stop making up all those lame excuses  
If you weren't a vampire, I would have given you bruises

And don't touch my Porsche  
Don't touch my Porsche  
Anymore


	18. Bloody

Bloody

Sung by: Jasper Hale

(Author's note: Awww, thank you for the reviews, guys. You are so sweet. I'm actually pleasantly surprised because I've never written fanfics before last Friday and I'm usually quite bad at writing. This is sung to the tune of Bubbly – Colbie Caillat. It isn't as good because it doesn't fit that well, but I think that's because Emma was drinking chicken blood during swim practice.)

(Verse 1)

I haven't hunted in a while now.

My throat is burning like a fire now.

'Cause when I see the mortal's bloody state.

I get the burning in a silly place.

(Chorus)

It starts in my feet, and it goes to my teeth.

Whenever I think, I just want to feed.

I can't understand how the other's can do this.

But I don't care, I just want to eat.

(Verse 2)

I don't mean to cause harm or pain.

But the burning is still the same.

I just want a drop of human blood.

Just one little drop, that's quite enough.

(Chorus)

It starts in my feet, and it goes to my teeth.

Whenever I think, I just want to feed.

I can't understand how the other's can do this.

But I don't care, I just want to eat.

(Bridge)

What am I going to say?

Am I just weak this way?

I just…mmm

(Chorus)

It starts in my feet, and it goes to my teeth.

Whenever I think, I just want to feed.

I can't understand how the other's can do this.

But I don't care, I just want to eat.


	19. 7 Things I Hate About Jacob

**Seven Things I hate about Jacob**

**(Author's note: I love this song so much because I hate werewolves, except Seth because Seth is awesome. Sung to the tune of 7 things – Miley Cyrus. Thank you, Emma and Alora for writing part of this and then conking out on me. I guess sleep deprivation doesn't help writing parody songs.)**

I really wanna say this  
But at times I get so scared  
That my girlfriend will get mad  
And she think I never cared

'Cause you werewolves kind of stink  
You have no fashion sense, I think. Alice was right.  
And since my smell, it cause you pain  
You might think that I was Jane, all day and night.

The 7 things I hate about you

The 7 things I hate about you oh you

You're lame, your name sucks, and you have fleas  
I hate you, and you hate me  
You make her laugh, you make her cry  
You broke her hand, and that's not alright  
Your friends, they're freaks  
you are all geeks and you are so weak  
Your pack all think that they are oh so pro  
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do  
You try to make her love you

It's awkward and it's silent  
Because I could read your mind  
But now your mental images  
are going to leave me blind  
Can you stop it, It's annoying  
The thoughts that you're employing  
It's just sick  
Oh Bella's not coming back  
Now you've, better run quick

The 7 things I hate about you  
You're lame, your name sucks, and you have fleas  
I hate you, and you hate me  
You make her laugh, you make her cry  
You broke her hand, and that's not alright  
Your friends, they're freaks  
you are all geeks and you are so weak  
Your pack all think that they are oh so pro  
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do  
You try to make her love you

and Compared to all the bad things  
That I'm disgusted by with distaste  
I haven't got to the part, of the stuff I really hate.

The 7 things I hate about you  
You're lame, your name sucks, and you have fleas  
I hate you, and you hate me  
You make her laugh, you make her cry  
You broke her hand, and that's not alright  
Your friends, they're freaks  
you are all geeks and you are so weak  
Your pack all think that they are oh so pro  
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do  
You try to make her love you


	20. Burning Up a Vampire

**Burning Up a Vampire**

**(Author's Note: Done on request for Marie12. Sung to the tune of Burnin' Up – Jonas Brothers. Enjoy!)**

Emmett: Dude, you totally stink  
Bella: Emmett! Jacob does not stink.  
Jacob: Actually, I haven't took a shower in days  
Edward: Ha! See?.  
Emmett: I am tempted to rip you up  
Jacob: Oh no, you didn't.  
Emmett: Oh yes I did.  
Edward: What are you going to do?  
Sam: Hey Jake. I wrote a song for you  
Jacob: Oh, awesome.  
Emmett and Edward: WTF?  
Bella: I'm confused

(Jacob)

I'm hot  
You're cold  
You say I'm weird  
but you glow.  
You hunt  
(Emmett)

You do too.  
And it bugs me how you're slow

(Jacob)  
I'm getting ready the fire  
Now you're going to get what you deserve

The fire is bigger and hotter  
'Cause I'm burnin' up  
Burnin' up a vampire

{Emmett}  
You stink (you stink)  
So bad (so bad)  
It's driving me…mad  
(Jacob)

Blood meals (blood meals)  
don't impress (Don't impress)  
A wolf like me  
Better get Jared and Seth

(Jacob)  
I'm getting ready the fire  
Now you're going to get what you deserve

The fire is bigger and hotter  
'Cause I'm burnin' up  
Burnin' up a vampire

(Emmett)  
Walk in the room  
All I can smell is you  
Oh, making me gag  
I think Rose agrees too (Rose: Yup)

(Jacob)  
I'm getting ready the fire  
Now you're going to get what you deserve

The fire is bigger and hotter  
'Cause I'm burnin' up  
Burnin' up a vampire  
I'm getting ready the fire  
Now you're going to get what you deserve

The fire is bigger and hotter  
'Cause I'm burnin' up  
Burnin' up a vampire

(Jacob)  
We're burnin' up the coven tonight  
Gonna sing it loud  
(Wolf pack)  
Gonna feel it right  
(Jacob)  
Get up and fight don't try to hide it  
Big J's for real  
(Wolf pack)  
And that's no lie  
(Jacob)  
Stop, drop, and roll  
(Wolf pack)  
Or else you'll die  
(Both)  
Keeps on burnin up  
(Jacob)  
More and more  
(Jacob)  
I got them with me  
(both)  
Layin' it down  
(Jacob)  
Now come on boys  
Lets bring the Cullen's around!

(Jacob)  
I'm getting ready the fire (Seth: No!)  
Now you're going to get what you deserve

The fire is bigger and hotter  
'Cause I'm burnin' up  
Burnin' up a vampire

Leah: Yay!  
Jared: Sounds a little dangerous.  
Emmett and Edward: I don't want to die.


	21. Best of Both Worlds

**Best of Both Worlds**

**(Author's Note: Done on request for Princess Candy-Lollypop-Star. I couldn't do the rest because I don't know the song that well. Well SORRY. Sue me because I don't listen to Hannah Montana. Sung to the tune of Best of Both Worlds – Hannah Montana.)**

Oh yeah  
Come on

I get the werewolf boyfriend (ohohoh)  
With an aunt to always take you shopping  
Alice always knows the latest trends  
Living with them is always exciting

It's dull when I have to hear how my parents met,

But I drive a fancy sports car

I get the best of both worlds

With a boyfriend who's pro,  
And the best parents I know  
I get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together  
And I know that it's the best of both worlds

The best of both worlds

I get to travel everywhere (Hey Zafrina!)  
Meet vampires from all over the world  
Being two species is a little weird (yeah)  
With all the trouble that the Volturi knows

Yeah I'm not really your average girl  
Because in the light I look like a star

I get the best of both worlds

With a boyfriend who's pro,  
And the best parents I know  
I get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together  
And I know that it's the best of both worlds


	22. A Glass Full of Red Blood

**A Glass Full of Red Blood**

(A/N: Sung to the tune of **Pocket Full of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield**)

I got a craving, got a craving for warm blood  
I got a deer but it taste like worm mud, oh, oh oh oh  
Do what you want but you're never gonna stop me  
Your diet can never ever top me, oh, oh oh oh

Don't make me stay, to the veggie way  
I want to chase , the human race  
Don't make me stay, I hate this way  
Don't make me stay, it's a disgrace

I got a craving, got a craving for warm blood  
I got a deer but it taste like worm mud, oh, oh oh oh  
Do what you want but you're never gonna stop me  
Your diet can never ever top me, oh, oh oh oh

I need a human, need a glass full of red blood  
I need some food and not just grizzly blood, oh, oh oh oh  
Wish that you could but you ain't gonna change me  
Your way is strange so don't restrain me, oh, oh no

Don't make me stay, to the veggie way  
I want to chase , the human race  
Don't make me stay, I hate this way  
Don't make me stay, it's a disgrace

There's a place that I hunt that you can't affront  
Where the blood does flow and the humans grow  
And there's no more rules, I'm no longer a fool  
And there's human pies, for my blood red eyes

Don't make me stay, to the veggie way  
I want to chase , the human race  
Don't make me stay, I hate this way  
Don't make me stay, it's a disgrace

Don't make me stay, to the veggie way  
I want to chase , the human race  
Don't make me stay, I hate this way  
Don't make me stay, it's a disgrace

The sun's hiding away, making the darkest day  
I cackled as I slay, I know I'll drink my prey  
The sun's hiding away, making the darkest day  
I cackled as I slay, I know I'll drink my prey


	23. Tik Tok

Tik Tok

(Sung to the tune of erm…Tik Tok – Ke$ha)

(A/N: Just wanted to say I don't actually listen to most songs that I make parodies of. But top 40 pop songs are easy to replace lyrics rather than some Motown soul ish. And I didn't do the whole song because I think the auto tune might kill me.)

Wake up in the morning like Jane Volturi,

Grab my cloak, I'm going out on a hunting spree.

Before I leave, I prep myself for a random attack,

'Cause when I drink Heidi's tourists, they always like to fight back.

When there's light, we always glow, glow

We can't suntan and that blows, blows,

Caius thinks we're always exposed so,

We got speakers blasting hot tunes,

Blood snacks before noon,

Knowing we're gonna be killin' soon.

Don't stop, watch them drop,

All the humans like yeah,

Tonight, I'mma fight,

The Cullens till the sunlight,

Tick Tock, on the clock,

But the torturin' don't stop, no.

Whoa-oh-oh-oh

Whoa –oh-oh-oh


End file.
